“To insure good health: Eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.” ~ William Londen ~
Courtesy of: Dr. Frank Gomez, Chiropractic Physician & Sayville Immediate Chiropractic care
www.SayvilleChiropractor.com – No Appointment Necessary – (631) 991 3492
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Things hardly ever go the way most of us want them to go. We have all kinds of problems. Life is full of problems. They happen to us at home, work, inside our heads and on our desks.
If you watch any daytime TV, or wander into your local bookstore, you’ll see there are zillions of sources of personal growth and self-help out there.
The trouble is, most of this talk aims to help you understand the origins of problems – why you feel unhappy, and which traumatizing events make you unable to get along with your spouse or children. While finding these hidden, fundamental problems in your subconscious are revealing and eye-opening, they do little to help you make changes in your life that will help you grow and solve some of the issues you find yourself dealing with.
Here’s the bottom line: Only one thing matters – how do you make your problems go away? You want solutions, not explanations. Fortunately, they’re not so hard to find – if you know where to look.
Bill O’Hanlon, a Certified Counselor and author of: Do One Thing Different: Ten Simple Ways To Change Your Life, says a problem is a recurring pattern that you don’t like…the same situation with its unpleasant feelings comes up over and over again. Here are some examples he cites:
O’Hanlon tells us there is a way out. He says that anyone can take simple steps to begin a path down a new road in your life.
Here’s what he suggests you do. First, figure out exactly what you’re doing…and do something different! Something big, something small…it doesn’t matter. JUST DO SOMETHING!
See, when you’re stuck in a rut, and things just never seem to change or get better, the most important thing is simply to start climbing out. There’s an old saying that applies here: The first thing to do, to get out of a hole…is to stop digging! Doing one thing, anything, is better than continuing to dwell in the rut!
See, you can’t change the way you feel. Nor should you try to. However you feel, is how you feel. O’Hanlon says that when others try to “help” by telling you to “be happy”, or to “cheer up” when you’re depressed or feeling down are unrealistic. Being instructed to “calm down” when you’re upset can be even more infuriating.
Here’s the BIG KEY: You can change the way you act! O’Hanlon asks you to look at your own life as a scientist would. Study the actions you take over and over again. Find one link in that chain of behaviors that upsets you – and here’s the important point…do it differently.
O’Hanlon says that the smallest change you can imagine may prove to be the big first step to getting out of the cycle. Here are some examples he gives:
Try to pay attention to what works and what doesn’t work. See if the one simple change of your ACTIONS gets you out of a bad mood, or relieves your anger, or slows your eating down, or gets you out of your couch and into the gym, or to go in and get that adjustment you know you need.
O’Hanlon tells the story about a woman who felt depressed every morning. She typically stayed in her nightclothes for hours and moped in front of the TV. But on some days, she’d finally get fed up, dress and go out for a walk. That made her feel better.
Once she recognized this pattern, she forced herself to get up right away – every day – and take a walk around the block, even though she didn’t feel like it. Soon she was walking a mile every morning…and eager to face the rest of the day.
O’Hanlon also points out that we also get stuck in thinking about things the same old way. We agree. As doctors, we are firmly convinced that what people focus on…is what dominates their experience. People begin to think in certain ways that trap us in problem patterns. We know from all of our clinical experience, that the people who begin to stop thinking in their old, unhealthy ways…start the path to restored health!
This comes up repeatedly in relationships. You become aware of being bothered by something your spouse or a friend does. Soon it dominates your thinking of him/her. She’s always late…he never takes out the garbage…she reads the newspaper when you’re talking.
Here’s what to start thinking about instead: Focus on things the other person does right. She makes an effort to look nice every time you go out…he takes care of all the bookkeeping…she always has the coffee perking by the time you come down for breakfast.
O’Hanlon concludes that an important change of focus is time. He warns us that brooding about the past casts a shadow over life. The present is acceptable, but you compare it to times when things were better…or you keep on thinking of lost loves, unrealized ambitions, and things that didn’t work out as you had wanted. The answer is to focus on the present. Paying attention to even the humblest details of daily life can distract you from pointless rumination about the past.
Another outstanding solution first pioneered by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, in his famous book, Psycho Cybernetics, which was written in 1959. Dr. Maltz teaches us to focus on the future. To imagine your life as you’d like it to be – in detail. Then, he tells us to work backwards until the way from here to there becomes clear. Thinking about your problems as being in the past puts your mind in “possibility mode” and brings the future to life NOW! For example, you can say and think things like:
If you’re stuck in unresolved matters from the past, it’s difficult to move on. Changing ONE LITTLE THING, like thinking about the future as you’d like it to be instead of dwelling on the past…can make a big difference in your attitude. And, as we always tell you, your attitude and outlook has a definite effect on the state of your physical health! So, make ONE CHANGE TODAY, and begin your new, healthier and happier life!
Finally, please remember, if you ever have any questions or concerns about your health, talk to us. Contact us with your, “Here’s what I was wondering about”, type questions, instead of “Guess what I just did”, statements. We’re here to help, and don’t enjoy anything more than participating in your life long good health!
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This information should not be substituted for medical or chiropractic advice. Any and all healthcare concerns, decisions, and actions must be done through the advice and counsel of a healthcare professional who is familiar with your updated medical history.